Operation Fake Cry

(Our house is extremely popular with phone marketers, scammers, etc. On this particular day, my dad is in the hospital undergoing surgery to have a pacemaker installed for having extreme brachycardia. He’s “died” a lot over the years to the point where my sister and I just kind of got over it as it was a regular occurrence. I’m at home when I get a phone call. The number is local and I assume it’s a friend of the family calling to inquire about my dad.)

Me: “Hello.”

Telemarketer: “Hi, I was calling to inquire about whether [Father] would be interested in purchasing one of our cemetery plots.”

(Knowing this is a scam, I put on some fake waterworks.)

Me: “Do you mean my dad didn’t survive the surgery? Oh, my God! Nobody told me anything! I know his heart was weak, but they said he would make it through no problem!”

(I begin to sob, and I can tell the person at the other end is extremely uncomfortable.)

Telemarketer: “I am so sorry; we had no idea about the situation. I can call back at another less delicate time.”

Me: “MY DAD JUST DIED AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS A SALE!”

(They ended up hanging up and we never received another call from them again. It’s been about five years now since that surgery and we haven’t needed that plot yet. I get that it is nice to prepare ahead, but the timing of it all was just too much.)