Opened A Can Of Worms

(Where my boyfriend works, he doesn’t get a proper lunch break so he often takes non-perishable food with him to eat, like non-frozen microwave meals or cans of soup. It’s 3:30 in the morning and I have randomly woken up feeling very hungry, and since we’re currently short on groceries, the only things to eat in the house are canned. I spend a good amount of time looking for the can opener to no avail. I feel bad, but I’m really hungry, so I go gently wake up my boyfriend.)

Me: “Love? Where’s the can opener?”

Boyfriend: *grumbles and rolls over* “Hmm? Oh… I took it with me to work. I think it’s in my car.”

Me: *amused* “Babe, you can’t just randomly abscond with the can opener and not tell me.”

Boyfriend: *sleepily teasing* “Well, you can’t just randomly need the can opener at weird hours of the night.”

Me: “Touché.”