Ooh, I’m Quaking In My Oats

(This happened to a coworker of mine, who is a bus driver. It is against policy to let food on the bus, and there is a sign that clearly states this.)

Passenger: *tries to get on the bus with a giant bowl of oatmeal*

Coworker: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t take that oatmeal on the bus.”

Passenger: “What?! Why?”

Coworker: “There’s no food allowed on the bus.”

Passenger: “I won’t spill!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there’s still no food on the bus.”

Passenger: “Well… YOU’RE UGLY!”