Only Thing They Are Providing Is An Annoyance

(This particular bank branch is closing. Because of this, I’ve had to deal with angry customers all day, so I’m not in the greatest of moods. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Bank] on [Street], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, my name is [Caller] and I’m with [Internet Provider]. Do you have a few minutes to talk about your current Internet service?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but all service and sales calls are handled out of our corporate office. Let me get you that number. It’s—”

Caller: “But do you have a few minutes to chat? Are you really happy with your Internet speed?”

Me: “Seriously, I don’t make those decisions. And this branch is closing, anyway, so we don’t need anything. The number for corporate is—”

Caller: “I’m guessing your Internet is pretty slow. You can’t be happy with that. We can provide you with—”

Me: “Lady! Open your ears! This branch is closing in three weeks! I’m pretty sure we’re not getting any sort of Internet upgrade in the next three weeks! Now, do you want the number for corporate or not?!”

Caller: “Oh. Never mind. Thank you for your time.” *hangs up*