Teaching Is Not His Only Calling

(I am in my first day of freshman English. Our professor, who stands six foot one and has his head shaved, is famed throughout the college for his pranks.)

Professor: “And do NOT let a cell phone ring in my class. You will regret it.”

(Two weeks into class, a girl’s phone rings in her bag.)

Professor: “Ooh, a phone! Let me answer! Let me answer!”

(He jumps up and down beside the girl’s desk like a little kid, holding out his hand for the phone. Looking like she wants to sink through the floor, the girl digs her phone out and passes it over.)

Girl: “It’s my boyfriend…”

Professor: “Oh, even better!” *answers phone* “Hello? No, it’s not a wrong number. She’s right here. Of course you can talk to her. Hey, honey, roll over!”

(Most of us lose it at this point as the professor, beaming broadly, passes the phone back to the girl. Cringing, she holds it up to her ear and squeaks out five words.)

Girl: “Can I call you back?”

(We were uninterrupted by phones for the remainder of the semester.)