Only One Half Of The Conversation And It’s Already Exhausting

I’m waiting for my prescription to be filled, sitting next to the reception desk of the in-house optometrist. I only hear the receptionist’s half of the phone call, so I can only imagine what the other end sounds like.

Receptionist: “Hello, [Optometrist].”

Receptionist: “Yes, yes, we can certainly get you an appointment.”

Receptionist: “Yes, he still works here.”

Receptionist: “No, he doesn’t do late Wednesday night anymore; he does Thursdays, instead.”

Receptionist: “Thursdays.”

Receptionist: “Yes, he used to do late Wednesday nights, but he stopped that and now he does Thursday nights, instead.”

Receptionist: “Yes.”

Receptionist: “No, he doesn’t do Wednesday nights anymore; he does Thursday nights, instead.”

Receptionist: “Yes, Thursdays.”

Receptionist: “Yes, we can certainly get you an appointment on Thursday night. How is 6:20 for you?”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the evening.”

Receptionist: “Yes, on Thursday.”

Receptionist: “Okay then, how about the following Thursday? The latest I have is 7:00 pm.”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the evening. If that’s not going to work, may I suggest—”

Receptionist: “Yes, we are open Saturdays. We are open from 9:00 am until 2:00 pm.”

Receptionist: “Yes, he does work Saturdays. I can fit you in at ten o’clock this Saturday.”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the morning.”

Receptionist: “This Saturday.”

Receptionist: “The fourth of July.”

Receptionist: “Yes. Saturday. Have you been here before? What was the last name?”

Receptionist: “Can you spell that for me? Okay, nothing is coming up on my system. Are you sure you’ve seen him before?”

Receptionist: “Oh, I see, the appointment is for your husband. Has he seen the optometrist before?”

Receptionist: “No? Okay then, I’ll need his last name.”

Receptionist: “Well, yes, it probably all is on your Medicare card, but I’d need that in front of me to get the information off it.”

Receptionist: “Yes, the actual card.”

Receptionist: “Yes, I’d need to be holding it in my hand to get that information.”

Receptionist: “Okay then, can you please spell his name for me? Thank you. And his date of birth?”

Receptionist: “Once again, ma’am, I don’t have your Medicare card in front of me. Thank you.”

Receptionist: “Okay, we will see you at ten am this Saturday the fourth of July.”

Receptionist: “Yes, this Saturday. At ten o’clock.”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the morning. Please bring your Medicare care.”

Receptionist: “Yes, the actual card. Thank you. Bye.”

He hung up and made an expression that said, “Thank God that’s over.” As he turned around, he saw that I was looking straight at him and panicked briefly before he realised that I was shaking with silent laughter. I really want to be there at 10:00 am this Saturday to see what happens. Yes, in the morning. This Saturday.