Only Half Sober

(I am working as a cashier at a famous fast food restaurant. We have a special breakfast menu which is served from 5 am to 10:30 am exclusively and the main menu is outside of those times. A VERY drunk woman staggers in at 7 am.)

Drunk Woman: *slurred mumbling* “A burger, please.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid we don’t have any burgers at the moment. We’re only serving breakfast right now.”

Drunk Woman: “Oh. I’ll have some fries then.”

Me: “Sorry, we do not serve fries at breakfast.”

Drunk Woman: “Oh… what can I have that’s like a burger?”

Me: “The closest I can suggest is a sausage muffin without the egg.”

Drunk Woman: “Fine, then, I’ll have two of them. And a bottle of water.”

Me: *thinking: yes, you need that water to sober up!* “Okay, that’s [total], please!”

Drunk Woman: *hands me HALF of a ten-pound note; it looks like it’s been literally ripped in half*

Me: “Um, this is half of a note.”

Drunk Woman: “Does it matter?”

Me: “Um, yes. Yes, it does.”

Drunk Woman: “Oh, okay, then.”

(She took her half of the ten pound note and staggered out, whilst we all watched, confused. Finally my colleague turned to me.

Colleague: “What’s betting that she thought half a tenner is worth a fiver?”