One Small Step For Dan

I work in Costco. We had a regular called Dan. Dan believed every conspiracy theory he ever read online. Flat earth, birds aren’t real, democrats are lizard people who control the weather, you name it.

Dan is looking at the smartphone selection and is playing with the cameras.

Dan: “It’s amazing how much these things can zoom in these days.”

Me: “Yeah, they’re pretty good. I can take a picture of a sign clear on the other side of the store on one of those.”

Dan: “You’d think with all this tech we could have taken a picture of the moon landing site by now… if it was there.”

Ugh, here we go. This is why you should never engage in conversations with Dan; it always ends like this.

Me: “Weeeeeell, I need to go help another customer. Let me know if you want to buy any of these phones.”

Dan: “I’d never buy a phone from you guys. The government would use it to listen in and track me from their satellites.”

Me: *Trying to get away.* “Well, haha, good thing you’re indoors, haha.”

Dan: “They got satellites that can look through ceilings and walls and identify you through your eyes!”

Me: “So we got satellites that can see through solid objects and can do retina scans… from space, but landing men on the moon is way beyond our abilities?”

Dan: “If the moon is even real.”

Me: “Bye, Dan.”