One Rep Max

Content Warning: Feces

I worked at a gym. An old man came over from the locker room and approached me.

Gym Member: “I don’t know what I gave birth to in there, but it won’t go down.”

And then he walked away, cool as a cucumber. 

I went in, and the smell hit me instantly. 

The stall had a turd (NO exaggeration) the size of my arm, from elbow to fingertips. One turd. No break in the line. I was equal parts amazed and disgusted. When you flushed the toilet, the water would (try to) swirl around it and go down, revealing the monster in all of its girth.

We let it sit there for a couple of days to soften up so we could push it down. It stank the whole time. I even caught the manager and some coworkers taking a photo of it because no one outside of work believed them.

What made it clear that the ‘father of the turd’ (as he came to be known) had no shame about his creation was that he was back in the gym a few days later and asked:

Gym Member: “How did you get on with casting my abomination back to Hell?”