One Born Every Five Minutes

(My coworker and I have just closed the shop and are mopping up, ready to leave. I have already put all the food away and closed both of my tills when a woman walks up and tries tugging on the door and then starts screaming.)

Customer: “YOU GUYS HAVE FIVE MINUTES LEFT!”

(I look at the clock to make sure and see that we are indeed closed.)

Coworker: *motions towards the back, signaling we are closed*

Customer: “NO! YOU GUYS HAVE FIVE F****** MINUTES!”

(She proceeds to get in her car and start honking and flipping us off as she drives away.)

Coworker: “Does she think doing that is going to make us open for her?”