One Adopted Every Minute

(I’m a male cashier at a hardware store. A male customer in his 20s approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey! Some lady is messin’ around in the aisle over there!”

(I can see from the counter that the woman he’s talking about is one of my coworkers, a valued employee.)

Me: “Actually, sir, she works here.”

Customer: “The hell she does! Women don’t know s*** about this stuff! She’s a useless employee and you wasted your money hiring her. I went up to her and asked if y’all carried square-handled double monkey wrenches, and she told me this store doesn’t carry those!”

Me: “That’s… not a real thing, sir. Those don’t exist.”

Customer: “Yeah, but that dumb b**** didn’t say that when I asked her! Women are f****** useless.”

Me: *getting angry* “A woman gave birth to you. Do you think that’s worthless?”

Customer: “No, actually, she didn’t! I wasn’t born! I’m adopted!”