Once, Twice, Three Times An Idiot

, , , , , , | Right | December 17, 2020

I work for a builders’ merchant that usually gets ten to fifteen customers an hour on our shop floor.

Due to the health crisis, we’ve closed our shop doors and customers need to call the sales office to place their orders and get a collection time for their goods.

I have put signs up everywhere — the store doors, the barrier in front of the store doors that we had to put up to stop customers from forcing the doors open, and the barrier in front of that barrier — and still, I get customers who try and get into the store or try and turn up whenever they feel like it to collect goods.

The best one ever is a customer who calls our sales department to complain. The crux of the problem? We won’t allow him in the shop. 

Customer: “But why?”

Me: “It’s for my protection and yours, sir.”

Customer: “I think you’re doing it on purpose. You just don’t like me.”

Umm, what?!

Me: “That’s not it, sir. It’s also policy for the business.”

Customer: “Well, you could have at least put a sign up or something.”

Me: “Sir, please look at the door. Can you see the sign on the door?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Now take a step back. Can you see the sign on the barrier?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And now take five steps back. Can you see the sign on that barrier?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “In that case, sir, you have walked past three signs I have put up. I can’t be held responsible for you not bothering to read any of the signs on your way in.”

Thankfully, the rest of the call went quickly and he got his order. I have since created larger signs, but I have a feeling these problems are going to continue.

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