On The Rocks And In The Drink

My husband and I work together. I’m a server, and he’s a bartender.

We had a packed bar and restaurant tonight. A couple came in already wasted, so we refused to serve them alcohol. They took it in stride, ordered some food, and eventually left.

A little while later, the man came running back inside.

Man: “My girlfriend fell in the water!”

There’s a path connecting the two resorts that runs right beside the water. My husband immediately ran outside and jumped in to save her. Meanwhile, the man vomited on his shoes.

But that’s not all.

Just before this happened, my husband had taken an order for eight mixed drinks from one of my tables. About ten minutes later, while bringing them their appetizers, I explained the delay.

Me: “I’m sorry about the wait. The bartender is currently saving a drunk woman from drowning.”

The customers stood up.

Customer: “We didn’t pay all this money not to get our drinks!”

Me: “Cool. I’ll tell the bartender to stop saving someone’s life so he can make your drinks.”

They left in a huff, encountered my husband on the path, and started yelling at him while he was still soaking wet from pulling the woman out of the water.

One of them even threw a beer bottle at his head.

He caught it in midair.

On the bright side, I found a crab in the storage room and scooped it up. Now our restaurant has a pet land crab!