On The Quest For Good Neighbors

(A woman has driven her car into my apartment a few days earlier, destroying the privacy fence, the sliding glass door, one wall, and the carpet. The complex manager and I are walking down to the mailboxes, discussing the situation, when we are passed by one of my least-favorite neighbors.)

Neighbor: “So, I hear we offer drive-thru apartments now.”

Me: “Yes, but in order to get one, you have to upgrade to Super Tenant. It means that you have to buy the booster pack with renter’s insurance, but you’ll get a new vinyl door and carpet, plus 75 additional quests.”