On A Fool’s Gold Errand

, , , | Right | May 8, 2019

(I am working at a store that, among other services, provides either pawn loans on or cash for jewelry and precious metals. It’s a slow day when an old man comes in and drops something small in the tray. Customers often bring in broken pieces of gold, so this doesn’t seem strange to me.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to sell this gold.”

Me: “Sure, let’s have a look and see if we can get a valuation.”

(I pick up the small item without really thinking and take a look. Horror washes over me as I realise I’m not holding a solid piece of gold, but a human tooth with a gold filling in it. Keep in mind that I’m not wearing gloves. I slowly lower the tooth back into the tray toward the customer and try hard not to freak out.)

Me: “Umm… I’m sorry. We can’t accept that; it’s a health and safety issue.”

Customer: “What if I pry the gold out of the tooth? Can you take it then?”

Me: *extremely desperate to run to the back and wash my damn hands* “No, sorry. I know it’s been in there, so I couldn’t take it.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll come back tomorrow and sell it to that other girl!”

Me: *fully intending to text the other employee and warn her, and just so super desperate for him to leave* “Okay, have a nice day.”

(He stormed out, and the second his foot stepped out of the store, I ran to the back and spent a good fifteen minutes scrubbing my d*** hands with scalding water.)

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