On A Cocktail Of Lies And Cookies

(My brother is in elementary school. It’s just before Thanksgiving and the teacher is asking the kids what they bring to their families’ Thanksgiving dinners. All of the kids give standard answers like “turkey” or “mashed potatoes.” That is, until she gets to my brother…)

Teacher: “And what do you bring to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner, [Brother]?”

Brother: “Cocktails!”

(My mother was mortified. We occasionally have a glass of wine or two, but there’s definitely no cocktails at Thanksgiving dinner. We still don’t know how he came up with that one. For the record, the only thing we’ve ever brought to Thanksgiving dinner was chocolate chip cookies.)