Oldest Trick In The Book

, , , , | Hopeless | March 10, 2018

(At my cinema, we have special screenings for seniors on Wednesday mornings. For less than half the price of a normal ticket, they can see a movie that was released earlier in the year, as well as get a cup of tea and a small snack. On this day, I am approached by a man who is well under forty, and his maybe seven-year-old daughter.)

Man: “Two tickets to [Marvel Movie], please! [Daughter] and I missed it when it was out first time, so we were excited to see it on the website.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m really not supposed to give tickets to non-seniors. It’s a special viewing for our older customers.”

Man: *disappointed, but pleasant* “Oh. I should’ve looked. I was just really excited to see it in the cinema. Don’t worry, love; it’s not your fault.”

(I feel bad, because the man is looking crestfallen, and I consider making an exception and arguing with my manager later. Before I can say anything, however, the little girl looks from her dad to me and back again before clearly making a decision.)

Daughter: *clutching her back and doubling over* “Oh! My back!”

Man: “[Daughter]? What’s wrong?”

Daughter: “It’s my back, Daddy! I have a sore back because I’m so old!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Oh, is that right? How old are you?”

Daughter: “I’m at least seventy-seven and I need a ticket for the old people movie! And Daddy needs to come help me to my seat!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can certainly do a ticket for you and your companion if you’re the right age.”

Daughter: “I already told you I’m eighty-seven!”

Man: “You said seventy-seven, [Daughter].”

Daughter: “See? I’m so old I don’t know what age I am!”

(I let them in and replaced the tea with a fruit juice for her. My manager wasn’t thrilled with me when she found out, but the dad was thankful. Besides, that kind of quick thinking must be rewarded!)

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