Old Age Is Wasted On The Young

(I am visiting my parents in another province for Easter. My boyfriend texts me to find out if we can have a phone date before I get home the next day.)

Boyfriend: “Sup?”

Me: “Knitting and watching Jeopardy. You?”

Boyfriend: “Don’t forget your prune juice.”

Me: “I’m drinking coffee. F*** you.”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know. Don’t want to break your hip.”

Me: “Shut up!”

Boyfriend: “Whoa there. Getting a little edgy, huh? Have you had your nap yet?”

Me: “I’m gonna kick your butt, sonny boy.”

Boyfriend: “I’ll just have to keep farther than your oxygen tank cord can reach.”

Me: “No lovin’ tomorrow.”

Boyfriend: “The Alzheimer’s will kick in and you’ll forget you said that.”