Oh, You’re Asking For It All Right

(The customer walks up to me, and seems completely uninterested and distracted, barely making eye contact.)

Customer: “I want the all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Me: “We do have a large popcorn offer that comes with one free refill. We unfortunately do not offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn option.”

Customer: *barely paying attention* “So you’re trying to tell me the large gets refills, right?”

Me: “The large gets one free refill.”

Customer: “Okay, so I’ll take one of those, you know, the large, all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Me: “All right, that’s one large popcorn… but just to be clear, it only comes with one refill, okay?”

Customer: *still not even looking at me* “That’s fine.”

(I give her the popcorn and ring her out. About half an hour later, she gets her refill. 20 minutes later, she comes back out again.)

Customer: *not even looking in my direction while thrusting her bag towards me* “Refill.”

Me: “All right, but just so you know, I’ll have to charge you since the larges only come with one free refill.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(I get her refill.)

Me: “That will be [price].”

Customer: *turning towards me suddenly, angry* “But this is an all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Me: “We don’t offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn.”

Customer: “But you told me this was an all-you-can-eat popcorn!”

Me: “Actually, I told you repeatedly that our large popcorns only come with one refill.”

Customer: “But I asked for an all-you-can-eat popcorn!”

Me: “Ma’am, we really don’t offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn and I made sure to explain that.”

Customer: “BUT I ASKED FOR ONE!”

Me: “I understand; however, we don’t offer an all-you-can-eat popcorn option.”

Customer: “BUT I WANTED AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT POPCORN!”

(Knowing where this is going, I just give up.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’ll give you this one last refill for free, but you’ll have to pay for any other refills. I really shouldn’t make exceptions like this, but I’ll let it slide if there was some confusion earlier.”

Customer: *storming away* “This is terrible customer service! You’re supposed to give the customer what they ask for!”

(Considering earlier this same day a 40-something man and his wife had made fun of me for being fat to my face and I got screamed at by at least a half-dozen people over prices I have no control over, it took every ounce of patience not to flip my lid.)