Oh, You Meant THE Bushes!

(I work in a hotel. It’s around midnight and I get a call. I do my usual phone spiel.)

Caller: *in distress* “Yes, hello? I’m staying at your hotel tonight and I’m lost!”

Me: “Okay, where are you?”

Caller: “I don’t know! Please hurry up and give me some directions; my phone is nearly dead!”

Me: “Uh… do you see a street sign?”

Caller: “No! All I see is some bushes!”

(I try to help but am unable to, since I’ve no idea where her bushes are. Her phone dies and she doesn’t call back. Hours later, she arrives, looking murderous.)

Lady: “Are you [My Name]? Thanks a lot for the help!”

Me: *taken aback* “Uh, well, you didn’t give me much to go from.”

(She glares.)

Me: “Glad you made it, though?”

(She snatched her keys and signed the registration card, glaring at me the whole time like I had just murdered her entire family. The next day, I found out that she had complained about my pathetic unhelpfulness. I explained to the questioning manager what had happened and he laughed hysterically at her ridiculousness and said, “Doesn’t everyone have a GPS now?” People, when you call for help, at least have a street name ready!)