Oh, How The Tables Have Turned  

(One night at work, we have a party of fifty-ish people coming in. We are a very small restaurant — ten tables and a sushi bar — but we don’t take private parties, so we try to accommodate them on top of our usual Friday-night crowd. They are still there taking up the majority of the tables when a couple comes in at the end of the night, like five minutes before we close.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Restaurant]. Will it just be two tonight?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “All right, you guys will just be right over here.” *takes them to their table, which happens to be the closest to the door but also the only thing open*

Customer: “Uh, absolutely not. I refuse to sit here. I want to sit further in!”

Me: *gestures towards the crowd of people at the other end of the restaurant* “I’m sorry, sir, but those tables are full.”

Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous; I’m going to look for another table down there!” *stomps off into the crowd*

(At this point, some of the big party left so there are two open tables, but I couldn’t see this past the crowd and they aren’t clean.)

Customer: *stomps back over to me* “THERE ARE TWO F****** TABLES OPEN! I DEMAND THAT YOU SIT ME AT ONE OF THOSE!”

Me: “Sure, sir, it’ll just be a minute for us to clean one of them off for you.” *sends another hostess to clean and set the table*

Customer: *stares at her until it’s clean and then sits without being told anything else*

(The big party all gets up and leaves and I see him walking to the front again. All I can think is, “Great. What does this jack*** want now?”)

Customer: “Thank you for doing that for me, darlin.’” *slips $40 into my hand* “I just really don’t like that table.”

(Such a weird night.)