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Oh Boy, You’re In Trouble

| Friendly | July 14, 2015


(I have just had my first baby and am recovering in my hospital room while my new daughter is being checked out. Babies in this hospital are traditionally wrapped in blue for boys, pink for girls, and green for twins or more. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the nurse finally comes back in ten minutes later and grins.)

Nurse: “You can stop fidgeting now, I’m back.”

Me: “Yay! It’s been forever!”

Nurse: *handing my baby to me* “It’s only been ten minutes. Here you go.”

Me: *looks down at my baby and frowns* “Huh?”

Nurse: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “Um… this isn’t my baby…”

Nurse: “What?! Sure it is!”

Me: “No, it’s not.”

Nurse: *growing concerned* “And… what makes you so sure?”

Me: “The fact that this baby appears to be a little boy. Mine is a girl.”

(The nurse pales and rushes out of the room, leaving me with a quickly becoming fussy little boy. Nervous for my own daughter and wondering where this little bundle came from, I comfort him to distract myself from my growing concern. I hear shouting down the hall and am beginning to consider getting up out of bed when two nurses, including my own, rush back inside and shut the door. One of the nurses is carrying a little pink bundle that I instinctively know is my daughter. Outside, a man starts pounding on the door and yelling for them to open it.)

Me: “What the h*** is going on?!”

Nurse: “Please, ma’am, just relax. I have your daughter right here; she’s perfectly fine, I promise.”

Me: “And what about him?”

(I gesture to the little boy I’m still holding and looking up at the man ranting at the window while the other nurse continually shakes her head at him and motions for him to move away. He starts to kick the door before a doctor and a few security personnel appear and apprehend him. The same doctor is allowed inside and heaves a sigh of relief when he sees me and the baby boy.)

Doctor: “I am SO sorry for the commotion, ma’am. If you want, I’ll take him and you can finally meet your daughter.”

(As it turned out, the man at the door had been in a delivery room a few doors down where his girlfriend had just delivered the baby boy I’d been given. Apparently, they’d been hoping for a girl and the man had actually broken into the examination room where my daughter was and switched his newborn son with my baby. The nurse had taken the boy out without knowing what gender I’d had and assumed he was mine. Luckily, the hospital bracelet was still on my daughter’s wrist, proving she was my baby, not his. After his rampage, the man was arrested that same day. I found out that his girlfriend was ecstatic to learn she’d had a son and was delighted to get him back. Whoever that little boy was and wherever he ended up, I hope he has a wonderful life.)

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