Of Inking And Shrinking

Dad: *points at nose ring* “That shiny thing on your nose. When did you get it?”

Me: “Dad, I’ve had my nose pierced for 7 years.”

Dad: “Oh…did I know that?”

Me: “Yes, dad. I showed you when I came home right after I did it.”

(He sits staring at my shoulders for a moment.)

Dad: *points at tattoo* “When did you get that knot…thing?”

Me: “You mean my first tattoo that I got 8 years ago, that I showed you and mom in the kitchen, right when I got home after the appointment, and you asked me why it was swollen?”

Dad: “So you got that before that bat…thing.”

Me: “I got the bat 3 years ago.”

Dad: “How tall are you again?”

Me: “5’3″, dad!” *pause* “Wait, why?”

Dad: “I think I’m shrinking.”