Nuts And Dolts

I work at an industrial fastener supplier. I am also a woman. A guy comes in and walks up to the counter.

Guy: “I want a bolt for a ’72 Chevy pickup.”

Me: “I need more information than that.”

Guy: “Why? I just want the bolt for the ’72 Chevy pickup.”

Me: “There is no single bolt—”

Guy: “Just look it up or somethin’. Or, if you can’t, get one of the men out here. They’ll know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “Before you dig yourself a deeper hole, I’m going to give you a moment to think that through. Do you legitimately believe every bolt in that truck is the same size?”

Guy: “Get me a guy out here!”

I get a guy (my manager), and the customer asks him exactly the same thing. My manager looks at me.

Me: “That’s literally the extent of the information he has given me.”

Manager: “Yes, I know. I was standing over there and heard everything. I just needed a moment.”

He turns to the customer.

Manager: “Dude, if you think that’s all the information you have to provide, think again. We need to know what part of the truck the bolt is for, the exact model and configuration, the diameter, the… You know what, just bring us the original bolt so we can match it.”

Guy: “Can’t you just look up which bolt a ’72 Chevy uses?”

Manager: “A ’72 Chevy pickup uses hundreds of different bolts. There isn’t one universal ‘Chevy bolt’ holding the entire truck together.”

Guy: “Can I speak to somebody else?”

Manager: “I have a penis, so the buck stops with me.”