Numerical Nincompoops

Me: “Good morning! You’re through to [My Name]. Can I take your plan number, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have a plan number. What’s that?”

Me: “It’s on your statement and begins with the number ’14’, then a dash.”

Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and there isn’t one.”

Me: “It’s about halfway down on the right-hand side and begins with ’14’ dash.”

Customer: “There isn’t one. I can see where it says plan type, but that’s it.”

Me: “Okay, it says the plan type on the left. The plan number is just to the right of it, starting with ’14’ and a dash.”

Customer: “There isn’t one. There is no number beginning with ’14’. Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “No, I’m not calling you a liar, but if it is a statement you are looking at, then I promise it’s on the right side, halfway down. It starts with ’14’.”

Customer: “There bloody well isn’t! The only number on here starts ‘1’, ‘4’, and a dash. Can’t you take that?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take that instead!”