Number One Is The Best Of The Trilogy

(We’ve just had sex, and I am straddling my boyfriend.)

Me: “What would you do if a girl peed on you in this position to mark you as her territory?”

Boyfriend: “I’d probably throw her off into the coffee table or something. That’s just not okay.”

Me: “You wouldn’t even say anything to her? You would just throw her off?”

(My boyfriend holds up his hand and does a Gandalf impersonation.)

Boyfriend: “YOU SHALL NOT PISS!”