Now We Really Want To Play “Minecarts Of Forever”

I am a bank teller. My bank operates a ticket system. The customer takes a ticket and we scan the ticket once they come to the counter. It is mostly to track waiting times.

A bank client throws her bank card and ticket at me.

Client: “I’ve been waiting over half an hour! This is the worst service I have ever had.”

I scan her ticket and see she has been waiting for less than five minutes.

Me: “I am sorry for the wait. We’re quite busy today. How may I help you?”

Client: “I was going to get some money out, but now I want to complain!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why? Would you like to speak to the manager?”

Client: “Are you f****** deaf?! I’ve just waited half an hour for your s*** attitude.” *Imitating me* “’Oh, sorry for the wait.’ My a**! You’re probably playing f****** ‘Minecarts of Whatever’ or whatever it is you kids play today!”

Me: “I see. I’m afraid I cannot continue this transaction with you due to your hostile tone.” *Hands her card back* “I am now asking you to leave.”

Client: “What?! I—” *stops and takes a deep breath* “I apologise. I really need the money out to pay off some debt. Could we start over?”

Me: “Of course. How m—”

Client: “Although, waiting half an hour is still ridiculous!”

Me: *Having had enough* “Actually, your ticket says you only waited five minutes. So either you’re telling porkies, or you came in, ignored the giant sign on the door saying to take a ticket, and waited twenty-five minutes before realising your mistake. Now, we can either complete this transaction with as little verbal communication as possible, or you can leave. It is your choice.”

I held her card out again. She screamed incoherently and ran out of the building. She didn’t take her card and has not been back during any of my shifts; I’m full-time, so that’s pretty much every day.