Now I Want One Of Those

(I am sixteen years old, and I just moved from New York to South Carolina. I still have a heavy New York accent, and I’m a fast talker. I work in a restaurant with coupons for free souvenirs: a cup, a lighter or a koozie.)

Customer: *with heavy southern accent* “This coupon here says I get a free gift. What’s my free gift?”

Me: “A cup, a lighter, or a koozie.”

Customer: “What’s a cupalighter?”

Me: “No, a cup, a lighter, or a koozie.” *trying to speak slower*

Customer: “I know what you said; what’s a cupalighter?”

Me: “Sigh. A cup. OR a lighter. Or a koozie.”

Customer: “Oh! You ain’t from around here are you?”

Me: “No.”