Now Showing The Fugitive

(I am outside in the box office by myself at night when a shady-looking guy walks up.)

Customer: “Hi, when’s the very next show?”

Me: “Twenty minutes.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll get a ticket to that one.”

(This is very common for people who don’t care what they’re seeing and want to kill time, so I sell him a ticket for Harry Potter, which is the next movie. He walks away looking at the ticket.  A few minutes later, he comes back.)

Customer: “You sold me the wrong ticket. You said Twenty Minutes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted the next show that was playing.”

Customer: “Yeah, I do.  You sold me a ticket for Harry Potter.  I don’t want this movie. I want the other one!”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry, what movie did you want again?”

Customer: “Twenty Minutes.”

Me: “We don’t have a movie called Twenty Minutes.  You asked when the next movie was.”

Customer: “Well, whatever. I don’t want to see this.”

Me: “Okay, I can change it for you. What movie would you like to see instead?”

(He picks a different movie, and our policy for exchanges is to write over the ticket itself and initial it. Otherwise, you have to ring up a new sale to print out another one, thus making our tills short.)

Customer: “You have to give me a new ticket.  This won’t work.”

Me: “It will. The door people will know I changed it for you.”

Customer: “But you wrote on it.  They’ll think I did it.  It won’t work!”

Me: “Sir, I promise you, this ticket will work. Those are my initials, and they know them.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m under house arrest and I need proof of where I’ve been.  They’ll think I was the one who wrote on it.  I have the ankle bracelet and everything…” *ominously* “You want to come out and see?!”

(I immediately printed out a new ticket for him!)