Now, Listen Here, Cupcake!  

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] at [Grooming Salon]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need Cupcake!”

Me: “One second, sir, let me see if Cupcake is ready to go home.”

(I look, but there is no Cupcake in the checkout file, the computer system, or the appointment book. Since many people have nicknames for their dogs, I ask for his last name.)

Me: “What is your last name, sir?”

Caller: “It’s [Caller].”

(I recheck but I can’t find anything.)

Me: “Sir, I’m really sorry. Perhaps Cupcake went to a different grooming salon?”

Caller: “NO! I don’t need my dog groomed! I don’t even have a dog! I just know that everyone who grooms is a lady! You belong in the kitchen! Make me a cupcake now!”

Me: “I think that [Grocery Store] sells cupcakes… Have a great day!”