Nothing Screams Elegance Like Cartoon Stingray Plushies!
I’m working in an aquarium gift shop that mostly caters to children. A woman walks over, giving the entire store a look of disdain. She has three young children who are excitedly running around the store.
Customer: “Is this… everything?”
Me: “This is the gift shop, madam.”
Customer: “But, this is the whole shop?”
Me: “Yes, madam.”
Customer: *Deep sigh.* “I was hoping for something a bit more refined.”
Me: “Well, we do sell some very good quality coffee-table books, and some—”
Customer: “I’m shopping for my children! They’re not interested in books!”
Me: “Well, I can assure you that all of our items are of good quality and—”
Customer: “It’s all tacky stuff made in China! Why doesn’t your store cater to a more refined clientele?”
Me: “It’s mostly for children, madam. We also sell some good quality snow globes, if your children appreciate something more decorative?”
Our snow globes are pretty pricey and very well made, so I hope these will seem ‘refined’ to her.
Customer: “These seem… better. But are these the classiest things you have?”
Me: “These are the classiest things we sell that don’t squeak when you press them.”
Customer: *Deepest sigh.* “I suppose this will do. I was just hoping for something more…” *Gestures to the entire store in desperation.* “…refined.”
Her tone, and the way she looked me up and down with contempt finally got to me. I admit I shouldn’t have said what I said next, but I was also proud of coming up with it on the fly:
Me: “Madam, we’re a gift shop at an aquarium. The only thing refined here is the saltwater.”
She clutched pearls, rounded up her three children, and made her way to the exit.
