Nothin’ Like Some Tough Lovin’

(I work for an Internet billing company that mostly does work with p*rn sites.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Consumer Support]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got some charges on my card, and I wanna know what the heck’s goin’ on.”

Me: “No problem, sir. If I can get the card number, I’ll be happy to help out.”

(He gives me his card, and I go through the process of looking it up and getting his info.)

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have a subscription here to [P*rn Site]. Is that familiar?”

Customer: “Yeah, I know that. Hold on a sec. RANDY!”

(I hear him shouting at someone in the background, and then the sounds of someone getting the ever-loving crap beaten out of them.)

Customer: “Okay, I done took care of the charges. Can you cancel that for me?”

Me: “Sure… I’ve canceled it from further billing now for you.”

Customer: “All right. You have a nice day.” *click*