Not Your Standard Charity Case

I am working at the checkout. Our card payment screens offer customers the chance to round up their payment and donate to a particular charity. A customer has just seen this prompt.

Customer: “It’s asking me if I want to round up and pay $0.13 to a charity.”

Me: “Yes. You can opt out by pressing the X button at the bottom.”

Customer: “I don’t donate to foreigners, disabled people, gays, that environmental crap, and democrats. Which one should I choose?”

Me: “Uh… there’s a local animal charity on the list, sir. It’s [Animal Charity].”

Customer: “Are they gay animals?”

Me: “I don’t think they’re anything, sir. Just animals.”

Customer: “Can you check? I need to tell my pastor I donated to a charity, but I need to make sure it doesn’t go to any gays.”

I call my manager over because, honestly, I don’t know what to say, and this guy is being so offensive that I am recoiling a little bit. The customer explains his “predicament” to the manager.

Manager: “Do you support veterans, sir?”

Customer: “Of course, I always support the troops!”

Manager: “Pick [Veteran Charity], then.”

Customer: “Thank you! I can tell everyone at church I gave to a good charity.”

The customer leaves happy with himself.

Me: “[Manager], you know that [Charity] is the veteran support offshoot of [LGBT Foundation]?”

Manager: *Sarcastically* “Really? Wow. I didn’t know. Crazy…”