Not Your Marriage, Not Your Problem
My mother-in-law is always pitting my husband against me. She has never liked that I am not a jealous woman; she thinks it’s an act and she will someday trip me up.
We take her grocery shopping one day, and a woman approaches us in the parking lot. She is wearing a low-cut top that doesn’t leave much to the imagination and shorts so short her butt is sticking out from the bottom.
Woman: “Hi. I’m sorry to bother you, but my car died. Can you possibly give me a jump?”
Me: “I don’t know if we have cables.”
[Mother-In-Law] snort-laughs.
Woman: “I do. Can you help?”
Me: “Yeah, sure. [Husband], drive over. We’ll follow you.”
Woman: “Um… okay. Yeah, I’m over here.”
He drives over, and I follow with the cart and [Mother-In-Law].
Mother-In-Law: “You don’t have a problem with that?”
Me: “With what?”
Mother-In-Law: “That half-naked girl just asked your husband to jump her car.”
Me: “No, why?”
Mother-In-Law: “What if she tries to… thank him?”
Me: *Shrug* “She’s not his type.”
Mother-In-Law: “How are you not mad? You should give him a piece of your mind! Following that… that w***e.”
Me: “[Mother-In-Law], it’s fine.”
I put the groceries in the car, get in, and wait. [Husband] gets in, and we leave.
Mother-In-Law: “So, what’s her name?”
Husband: “The woman?”
Mother-In-Law: “Yes!”
Husband: “I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”
Me: “[Mother-In-Law] thinks you helped her because she had a great rack.”
Husband: “Oh. No, she just needed help. You think she had a great rack?”
Me: “I mean, it was pretty obvious.”
Husband: “Yeah, they were nice, but I don’t think they were real.”
Mother-In-Law: “So, if a giant, ugly, smelly man asked you to jump his car, would you help?”
Husband: “Yeah, of course.”
Mother-In-Law: “You’re lying!”
Me: *Smiling* “You raised a great man. Very dedicated to his marriage.”
[Mother-In-Law] was silent the rest of the ride home. When we got back, [Husband] told me that the woman apologized for being weird, but she was asking ME for help because I’m a woman and she hesitates to ask men for help. He told her that I had never jumped a car and I would have been useless… which is true.
