Not Working With Any Real Agency

(Recently I have lost my job and I am desperately looking for work to stay afloat. I have registered with several agencies but despite them making big promises, all my efforts to stay in contact either go unanswered or are met with vague replies. One day another agency calls me about a job I recently applied for. They go through the position with me and ask me details about my experience. For a moment, I think this might actually be going somewhere. The agent then mentions me coming into the office and signing up. This is something I have heard before, so almost instantly my guard goes up and I decide to probe further.)

Me: “So, when exactly is the company looking to interview for this role?”

Agent: “Oh, I don’t think we’re going to be able to forward you for this role.”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Agent: “We need two written references and a security check done by the end of today, and as it’s 3:00 pm now, that’s probably unlikely! So, what day can I—”

Me: *interrupting* “If there wasn’t a job, why the hell didn’t you say so?”

Agent: *long pause* “Um… We, err… wanted to go through this and see if you were a good fit for this job.”

Me: “BUT THERE IS NO JOB! What the hell?!”

Agent: “So, what day can we pencil you in for?”

Me: “Save it; there is no way in hell I am registering with you. I don’t appreciate being lied to like that!”

Agent: “Hold on now. Let’s just talk a little about this.”

Me: “No. I am really desperate for work right now and you strung me along. That gives me a real poor impression of your company!”

Agent: “So, what day do you want to come in and—”

Me: “Don’t contact me again!”

(That was the last I bothered using an agency! Thankfully, a couple of weeks later I found a new position, but I have sworn off agencies ever since then.)