Not What The Doctor Ordered

(In one week we are hosting a benefit dinner to set up a scholarship fund helping underprivileged kids go to summer camp. It is my job to take reservations, which have been closed for a week. I take a phone call.)

Me: “[Business]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. This is Doctor [Name]. I would like three tickets to the dinner.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately ticket sales closed a week ago. We had to give final numbers to the caterer and—”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m a doctor and I know the speaker. She and my daughter went to college together.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but the speaker knew when ticket sales closed and she never mentioned—”

Customer: “But I’m a doctor! And I know the speaker!”

Me: “Congratulations, ma’am. But we’ve turned the numbers in—”

Customer: “You’ll just have to tell them you have three more guests. What time is the dinner? We will be coming.”

Me: “I can’t—”

Customer: “You will tell them. I know the speaker.”

Me: *sigh* “I will talk to our director and see what I can do but—”

Customer: “Good. My name is Doctor [Name] and I know the speaker.”

(The caller proceeds to give me all of her contact information. I talk to my boss a few hours later and she reluctantly agrees to sell tickets to the woman because we ordered more meals than necessary for this exact reason. I am getting ready to call the woman back when the phone rings and I answer it.)

Customer: “This is Doctor [Name] and you said you would talk to your— whoever it is —and make sure we get tickets. We will be coming. I know the speaker.”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, ma’am. We have extra plates available and we have your name on the reservation list for three tickets.”

Customer: “Good. See, this is how you treat a doctor. Now, what is my discount for knowing the speaker?”

Me: “You don’t get a discount.”

Customer: “Of course I do; I’m a doctor and I know the speaker.”

Me: “Ma’am, everyone pays the same ticket price. We have everyone from doctors, engineers, nurses, janitors, and camp counselors coming to this dinner and they all reserved their seats before the deadline and are all paying the same ticket price. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine! But I won’t give you people a dime more for whatever it is you’re doing, you hear me?”

Me: “Yes, doctor.”

(She was just as rude and egotistical when I met her in person, still making sure to let me know she was a doctor and more important than anyone. And she made good on her promise to not give anything to the scholarship fund for children.)