Shocking Mis-Apple-ications of History

(My sister and brother and I are doing homework together. My brother has been trying unsuccessfully for quite a while to remember who discovered gravity, with my sister and I refusing to help because his guesses have been so far from the target. It’s been a very long day, and we are all kind of out of it.)

Sister: “So, today we planned in history for a colonial town meeting simulation thing, and I got cast as John Adams!

Brother: “Oh, that’s who it is! John Adams discovered gravity!”

(My sister and I crack up.)

Sister: *not joking and completely serious* “No, of course it wasn’t John Adams, you dolt! Everyone knows it was Charles Darwin!”

Me: “Both of you are so off. It was Thomas Isaac— I mean Isaac Newton!”

Brother: “Thanks. But hey, at least I got their names right!”

Me: “Sorry, I was thinking about Thomas Edison at the same time.”

Sister: “You thought Thomas Edison discovered gravity?! Yeah, sure, he was out there flying his kite in the lightning storm and just thought of gravity.”

Me: *facepalm* “That was Benjamin Franklin who flew the kite.”

Brother: *deadpan, completely serious* “It doesn’t matter… they’re all presidents anyway!”

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