Not The Breast Awareness

(We’ve just finished watching an episode of a TV series. I grab my boyfriend’s hands and put them on my boobs, hoping for some ‘cozy’ time.)

Boyfriend: *starts moving my boobs in different directions* “Vrooom! Vrooooom!”

Me: *glares*

Boyfriend: *switches to making disc jockey scratching movements and sounds*

Me: “No! My breasts are not a racing car or a DJ table!”

Boyfriend: “Okay!” *starts using my boobs as buttons and uses them for shooting on imaginary objects making high pitched ‘pew! pew!’ sounds*