Not That Kind Of Brotherly Love

(I’m a lesbian, and my girlfriend recently decides to tell her parents we’re dating. She decides to do this at a family dinner with me accompanying her.)

Girlfriend: “Mom, I have something to tell you.”

Mother: “Oh! Are you and [me] getting married? We heard Proposition 8 got repealed.”

Girlfriend: *stunned* “You think were getting… you knew I was gay?!”

Brother: “I think everyone in the house has known for at least four years.”

Girlfriend: “How?”

Father: “Sweetie, you weren’t very good at deleting your internet history back in high school.”

(At this point, my girlfriend is bright red and can’t bring herself to speak. I step in, and ask my girlfriend’s brother a question.)

Me: “So how did you find out?”

Brother: “They thought it was my p*rn when they found it.”

(As an added bonus, my girlfriend and I are actually planning to get married now!)