Not Talking To You Like A Dummy, Yet A Dummy You Are

(I work in a copy shop. This happens in the self-serve area:)

Customer: “Excuse me. How do I put the paper in?”

Me: *in a happy tone* “Just like you’ve got it!”

Customer: “Okay.” *turns the paper sideways*

Me: “No, the way you just had it.”

Customer: *in a super defensive tone* “Okay, I was just checking to make sure!”

Me: “Okay.”

(A few minutes later, the same customer calls me over again.)

Me: “What’s happening?”

Customer: “Nothing!”

(I look at the screen by the copier to see that he has not yet chosen a print option, and that his payment card is already in the machine. You have to put your card in last, when it asks for it, or the machine gets confused.)

Me: “Oh, it looks like you’ve confused the machine by putting your card in before it wanted it, so if you just—”

Customer: “Excuse me. I know how to follow directions! I really don’t appreciate you talking to me like I’m a dummy! I’ve already done everything it has asked and it’s not working!”

Me: *taken aback* “I wasn’t talking to you like a dummy. You said it wasn’t working and I was saying why I thought it wasn’t working. If you take your card out, we’ll try again.”

(He takes his card out of the reader.)

Me: “Okay, now touch the ‘copy’ option.”

(The customer puts his card in the machine.)

Me: “No, don’t put your card in. I said to push the ‘copy’ option.”

(The customer takes his card out and presses “copy” on the screen. He then stares at the screen, which says, “INSERT PAYMENT CARD,” in giant letters. Then, he looks at me.)

Me: “Put your card in now.”

(He puts his card in and then stares at the screen that says, “PLEASE QUICKLY REMOVE YOUR CARD.”)

Me: “It’s asking you to take your card out.”

(After I got him started, he said, “Thank you,” in an overly pleasant tone and said I was very helpful. That’s probably because he felt like an idiot for saying he knows how to follow directions when he clearly does not know how to follow directions.)