Not So Sweet Resolution

Coworker: “Hey, you have to pick a name. We’re doing secret Santa.”

Me: “Sorry, but I’m visiting family over December, so I won’t be here.”

Coworker: “DUH! That’s why you pick a name now, and then we can all open them at the Christmas party.”

Me: “When is the party?”

Coworker: “18th December.”

Me: “To which I won’t be here…”

Coworker: “…do you maybe want to pick a d*** name and stop being an a**hole?!”

(I pick a name and buy something before I leave the week later. When I get back in January:)

Coworker: “WHERE WERE YOU?!”

Me: “I told you. I was visiting family over December.”

Coworker: “You should have said. [Coworker] got you a box of sweets, but I decided to take them home. Otherwise, they would have been eaten just being left here.”

Me: “So, where are they?”

Coworker: “I ate them.”

Me: “…”