Not Such A SIM-ple Solution

(I work in a cellphone store. I am the assistant manager, and it’s safe to say I know and follow all the rules and laws regarding to subscriptions.)

Customer: “Hi. I bought a new phone for my wife for Christmas, and I need a new SIM card on her number.”

Me: *looking the number up in our system* “It seems this number is solely in your wife’s name, and as such she would need to be here and identify herself in order for me to activate a new SIM card on this number, or—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “No. That won’t do. You’re going to fix this for me now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no way I can activate this card for you. However, what I can do is sell you a not-activated SIM that you can activate on our online service at your own leisure.”

Customer: “Not good enough. Fix this. Now!”

Me: “Again, there is no way. This is a matter of privacy laws.”

Customer: *flashing his driver’s license* “Look! I have the same last name!”

Me: “Still, we would need her here to do this, or you would have to have a signed written consent from her along with a copy of her ID; but I guess that would ruin the surprise, which is why I think the best solution here is the blank SIM card.”

Customer: “This is preposterous! I’m going to report you! I’m going to move her number over to a different cell provider!”

Me: “Yeah, you won’t be able to do that either without her consent.”

Customer: “Just you watch me!” *storms off*

Me: “All right. Merry Christmas!”