Not Speaking Plainly Enough

(When my daughter was very young, she went through a phase when she wouldn’t eat pasta that had “stuff” on it. It was sometimes hard to convince restaurant servers that we wanted absolutely plain pasta.)

Me: *to server* “Could I get some plain pasta for my daughter, please?”

Server: “Sure!” *turns to leave*

Me: “Um, sorry to be a bother, but when I say ‘plain,’ I mean ‘absolutely nothing on it.’ No sauce, no cheese, no parsley, nothing.”

Server: “Plain pasta, got it.”

(When the food arrives, it has a garnish of parsley all around the edge of the bowl, some of which has fallen into the pasta itself.  My daughter stares at it in dismay.)

Me: “Excuse me; I asked for plain pasta.”

Server: “That IS plain pasta.”

Me: *points at the parsley*

Server: “That’s just GARNISH! It doesn’t count!”