Not So Closely Guarded

| Working | January 22, 2015

(Due to some robberies in the area the bank has hired additional security guards to patrol outside of the building. I’ve just finished going over some paperwork with an accountant and am walking to my car when a vagrant in a dirty coat ambushes me. Note that I’m a woman who is 5′ 1” and weighs less than a hundred pounds.)

Me: “Hey, let go!”

Thief: *slurring* “Listen, I just WANT some WINE!”

(Stumbling, the guy grabs at my purse and tries yanking it out my arms.)

Me: “Help! Get this guy off me!”

(I spend the next several minutes fighting off the drunken thief. Finally I manage to get free, only to find he managed to steal my car keys and phone in the scuffle. My hair and clothes a mess, I stumble back into the bank so I can call for help. The bank manager instantly spots me and rushes over.)

Bank Manager: “Oh, my goodness! What happened? Are you okay? Did you contact one of the security guards about the attack?”

(I explain the situation when the security guard who was supposed to be watching the parking lot wanders in.)

Guard: “So, my shift’s over in three minutes. Is it okay if I clock out now?”

Me: “Hey, where the f*** were you when I was being attacked by that crazed bum?”

Guard: “Oh, calm down, lady. Don’t be so melodramatic. It’s not like you got jumped by a gang of people.”

(I’m literally stunned by his flippant regard about not helping me.)

Me: “So, you didn’t think you should have gotten involved when one of your bank’s customers was attacked by someone twice her size?”

Guard: “Look, it’s not my job to protect bank customers. Now if—”

(The bank manager, who had been silent during this exchange, finally speaks up.)

Manager: “Then what the f*** is your job, [Guard]? Because from where I stand protecting our customers from random thieves in our parking lot sounds like exactly the kind of job we hired extra security for.”

(The manager asked me to review the parking lot footage with him and the guard. The footage showed the guard actually stopping and watching the entire fight from a safe distance, never interfering during the 10-minute-long fight or even after when I dragged myself inside. Despite his iron-clad defense that it ‘wasn’t his job to help people’ the manager fired him on the spot.)

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