Not Remotely Intelligent

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Tech Support]. May I have your phone number, please?”

Caller: “This thing doesn’t f****** work!”

Me: “Sir, I’ll be happy to help you with that.”

Caller: “Just help me with this f****** thing!”

(Eventually, I find out he needs help with a DVD remote.)

Caller: “The movie doesn’t play! It doesn’t do a f****** thing!”

(I hear the crunching of plastic as he tries to push the buttons really hard.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so you’re pressing the play button and it’s not working. Correct?”

Caller: “Which one’s the play button?”

Me: “The one that says ‘play’ above it. It should be in the shape of an arrow that’s pointing to the right.”

Caller: “I can’t read any of this s***! I don’t have anything like that. There’s just one that points to the left.”

Me: “Sir, go ahead and turn the remote around.”

Caller: “What, backward?”

Me: “Yes, so that the other side points at the DVD player.”

Caller: “Oh… it works now!” *click*

This story is part of our Backward roundup!

Read the next Backward roundup story!

Read the Backward roundup!

This story is part of our Tech Support roundup!

Read the next Tech Support roundup story!

Read the Tech Support roundup!