Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 5

(A caller is saying that her cable isn’t working. I determine that her TV simply is not switched on.)

Me: “Okay. I just need you to press the power button on your remote, and your TV will work.”

Customer: “I can’t find the remote! Make it work!”

Me: “Don’t worry. Just press the power button on your TV for me.”

Customer: “I don’t have a power button on my TV!”

Me: “Okay. Can you do me a favor and read out the buttons you see on your TV?”

Customer: “The first one says ‘pooer’.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Pooer.”

Me: “Can you spell that for me, please?”

Customer: “P-O-W-E-R.”

Me: “Great, that’s your power button.”

Customer: “No, it says ‘pooer’.”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you that’s your power button. Please just press it.”

Customer: “Well, they must have misspelled it.”