Not Ready For The Naked Truth

(My mum and I are in the living room while my dad is in the kitchen doing the dishes. Mum and I are talking about me meeting my long-distance boyfriend, whom I have never met in-person before despite being ‘with’ him for more than a year. I’m despairing I will never meet him as it has been so long and our circumstances have never been favourable due to money or health issues.)

Me: “Mum… how am I going to meet [Boyfriend]?”

Mum: “You walk into the airport…”

Me: “Yeah, but HOW?”

Mum: “…naked.”

Me: “…”

Mum: “That way he knows exactly what he’s getting.”

Dad: *from kitchen* “Did somebody say naked?”

Mum: “She should walk into the airport naked to meet [Boyfriend].”

Me: “I’m not in favour of this.”

Dad: “Work on your abs first, [My Name].”