Not Quite The Immaculate Concept

(I am aged around six. My school likes to mix the Nativity up with another theme, such as ‘Cops and Robbers’ or the Victorian era. This year they choose ‘Under the Sea.’ This happens the afternoon I get home after being told my part.)

Me: *very excitedly* “Mummy! I’m an octopus testicle in the school play!”

(My mum came very close to calling up the school, before I explained my role further and she made the deduction that I was in fact an octopus TENTACLE. My siblings are still reluctant to let me live this down.)