Not Quite Nuts About Your Allergies

(I am 14, and my family and I go out for dinner.)

Waiter: “Here is your food: two 1/2 pound burgers with chips, one serving of sticky pork belly with salad, and one seafood curry.”

Dad: “The buns on the burgers have sesame seeds.”

Waiter: “So?”

Dad: “We said that my son here is allergic to sesame seeds.”

Waiter: “No, you didn’t.”

Dad: “Yes, we did. I can assure you of that.”

Mum: “He did; trust me.”

Waiter: *sarcastically* “Oh, okay, I’m very sorry. I’ll have his food re-made.”

(He gives my dad an annoyed look as he walks off. We wait another 20 minutes, at which point my brother’s food arrives again, this time without a sesame seed bun.)

Waiter: “Terribly sorry, sir. Won’t happen again.”

(We enjoy our drinks and meals while listening to the music in the background. A little later on we order desserts, and my brother orders a sorbet with a strawberry liquorice strip. At this point we also say that he’s allergic to nuts and eggs as a reminder. Dessert arrives, and there are little beige pieces all around the sorbet, much to my worry.)

Dad: “Are these nuts?”

Me: “I don’t know. Let me try one.” *I can’t tell; it’s tasteless*

Mum: “Maybe you should check with the waiter?”

Dad: *sigh* “All right.”

(We call him over and ask him to check. My brother has already eaten a few of the pieces. Waiter comes back.)

Waiter: “The sorbet does not have egg, but, um… those little pieces are nuts.”

Dad: “Wait… What did you say?”

Mum: “What?”

Waiter: “I said those pieces are nuts.”

Dad: “I TOLD YOU THAT HE HAS A NUT ALLERGY!”

Mum: “Did you eat any of those pieces?”

Brother: *crying* “Yes!”

Dad: “Get a doctor or something! Get his epipen too! This is outrageous!”

Waiter: “Sir, I’m sorry…”

Dad: “I don’t want to hear it. You should have listened to us!”

(My brother doesn’t have an allergic reaction, and the restaurant manager and doctor are called in. Thankfully they weren’t nuts, but actually little biscuit pieces, to which we were all relieved.)

Manager: “I’m really sorry about all this.”

Dad: “It’s all right now, but he hasn’t paid attention to how my son here has allergies!”

Manager: “Seriously? We take that very seriously here. I shall speak with him.”

Me: “Thank you very much.”

Mum: “Yes, thank you.”

Manager: “It’s all good now. How about I give you all free drinks to say sorry? On the house!”

Brother: *sniffling* “I’d like that. Yes, please…”

(So, we got free drinks and had half the price of our meal slashed off. Meanwhile, we have no idea what happened to the waiter. Maybe he got fired.)