Not Quite Marrying A Prints

(In our copy center, we regularly help brides with their DIY invitation kits. A man comes up to the counter, roughly half an hour before the store closes for the night.)

Customer: “I need these place cards printed, and I want to wait while you do it.”

(My coworker and I review the order, and we realize that the entire job would take several hours to complete exactly to their specifications.)

Coworker: “Unfortunately, sir, this order would take hours to complete. I can get started on it tonight, but we close in 30 minutes, and we’d have to continue working on it tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “What!? But it’s for my wedding!”

Coworker: “Well, when’s your wedding? I’m pretty sure we could work something out.”

Customer: “You don’t understand! It’s tomorrow morning! I need these done now!”

(My coworker and I, both women, stare at the man for several seconds in shock and then continue.)

Coworker: “Okay, well in that case we have two options. We can do [option 1], which but won’t look as nice but will be done faster, or [option 2], which will look more formal, but will take a little longer. Worst case scenario, I’m pretty sure we can have this done in time.”

(The customer is now irate as well as in a panic. The time my coworker had told him the order would be completed was only a couple of hours before his wedding. He starts to launch into a tirade about incompetent employees when my coworker interrupts.)

Coworker: “Sir, if I was your soon-to-be-wife, and I found out that you had waited until just now to have this order printed out, I would be furious. We just gave you two options to get this stuff done so she never has to know you procrastinated so badly. You can choose one of them, or you can try finding someone else to print these for you; and good luck doing that at this time of night.”

Me: “How long have you had to print these, anyway? Weeks? Months?”

(The customer snapped his mouth shut, chose one of the options we’d outlined, and stormed out of the store. When he came back the next morning, he was visibly stressed but showered us with thanks for saving his hide on the order.)